The loss hits me anew.
My late son Derek came to me in a dream last night. He parked his Hummer in the driveway and came in the back door. He said, “Howzit going, Moms?”
I told him, “As well as can be. You know.”
He said, “I know.”
I asked, “Do you miss me?”
He wouldn’t look at me. He said he missed his Egyptian cotton sheets.
I offered him pot roast, his favorite.
He said he quit eating. Just gave it up.
I asked if he was cold. He looked cold, and much too thin. “I worry about you. What’s it like? Are you still sad?”
He said, “You don’t have to worry anymore.”
“But I can’t stop. A mother just can’t stop. I wished I would have told you that. There are a lot of things I wished I would have told you.”
He said, “You can tell me now. I’ll listen.”
Loss and grief are intertwined. In a way, it’s a blessing to see him in my dreams because I get to look at him and hear his voice, again. I don’t ever want to forget his voice, the way he said “Whazzup?” and called me “Moms.” But, oh, my heart.
Linda K. Sienkiewicz is the award-winning author of adult contemporary fiction In the Context of Love, a 2016 Eric Hoffer Book Award Finalist.
Angelica Schirrick had always suspected there was something deeply disturbing about her family, but the truth was more than she bargained for.
“…at once a love story, a cautionary tale, and an inspirational journey.” ~ Bonnie Jo Campbell, author of National Book Award Finalist, American Salvage, and critically acclaimed Once Upon a River,and Mothers, Tell Your Daughters
2016 Eric Hoffer Book Award Finalist
2016 Readers Favorite Book Award Finalist
2016 USA Book News “Best Book” Award Finalist
2016 Sarton Women’s Fiction Award Finalist
2015 Great Midwest Book Fest Honorable Mention