The loss hits me anew.
My late son Derek came to me in a dream last night. He parked his Hummer in the driveway and came in the back door. He said, “Howzit going, Moms?”
I told him, “As well as can be. You know.”
He said, “I know.”
I asked, “Do you miss me?”
He wouldn’t look at me. He said he missed his Egyptian cotton sheets.
I offered him pot roast, his favorite.
He said he quit eating. Just gave it up.
I asked if he was cold. He looked cold, and much too thin. “I worry about you. What’s it like? Are you still sad?”
He said, “You don’t have to worry anymore.”
“But I can’t stop. A mother just can’t stop. I wished I would have told you that. There are a lot of things I wished I would have told you.”
He said, “You can tell me now. I’ll listen.”
Loss and grief are intertwined. In a way, it’s a blessing to see him in my dreams because I get to look at him and hear his voice, again. I don’t ever want to forget his voice, the way he said “Whazzup?” and called me “Moms.” But, oh, my heart.
Angelica had always suspected there was something deeply disturbing about her family, but the truth was more than she bargained for.
What makes us step back to examine the events and people that have shaped our lives? And what happens when what we discover leads to more questions? In the Context of Love, adult contemporary fiction by Linda K. Sienkiewicz, revolves around the journey of Angelica Shirrick as she reevaluates her life, and its direction. Available on Amazon.