The season has officially changed. The cement goose that I spotted on a morning walk last month has exchanged her dowdy coat and hat for a summery blue cotton frock and an over-sized ruffled bonnet.
Curious about goose attire, I googled it and discovered there’s a gaggle of websites devoted to making sure your goose is the best-dressed goose on the block. Stars and stripes goose dresses with big bows, perfect for the Fourth of July. Sexy polka-dot goose bikinis and sunglasses (sexy for a goose, anyway). A goose bumblebee costume with antennae on the cap. A goose ladybug suit….
For the well-dressed male goose, or gander, I found an Uncle Sam Costume as well as green John Deere overalls that include a straw hat and a tiny shovel you can attach to your gander’s hand, er, wing. On Goose Clothes Galore, there’s even a Noah costume:
Comes complete with a full beard and “hair ring”, navy blue smock accented with a rope tie and holding an array of cute and cuddly animals including a giraffe, lion and elephant. This outfit is copy right protected and may not be reproduced in whole or part under penalty of law. This outfit is only available for the large 24-27 inch cement or plastic goose.
If your goose is small, you’re out of luck.
The geese in my neighborhood look downright dowdy in comparison. Here’s the sister of the above goose, which is on the back post of the same house, dressed in a dowdy, dusty rose smock with what looks like a fur belly. I have no clue what it’s supposed to be. If you know, please fill me in!
Personally, if I had a goose statue on my lawn, I’d dress it in something edgy or futuristic, maybe like Lady Gaga, with a huge hat and platform shoes on her webbed feet. I’d call her her Lady GooGoo.