It’s important to nurture creativity in children, even if it’s a little startling, or, um, not quite what we had expected.
Accuracy in art, if not colors
My granddaughter, Lil, age 6, had brought a coloring book of horses to amuse herself in a restaurant, so she and I colored a picture together while we waited for our food. I loved coloring as a child. I still enjoy the soothing sweep of a crayon against the soft toothiness of coloring book paper.
Lil seemed puzzled to see I’d colored the hooves of one horse a bright blue. “Why did you do that?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I thought it would look good on her. Wait… I think this is a boy horse,” I said, noticing the obvious.
“Yeah, it is,” she said, paying little mind to the animal’s anatomy as she resumed coloring. It was indeed a male, but her attitude was a refreshing “so what?” She’s just six years old, but she rides, and her equine training at a stable that summer included learning the parts of a horse’s body. In six years, she’s seen more horses in the flesh than I have in my entire life.
Reprimanded for “that” part
I was in the second or third grade when I drew what I thought was the most amazing picture of a horse, with a rounded breast, barrel and rump, and knobby hocks and knees. Aiming for accuracy, I added the male sheath. My horse looked so real it could have trotted off the page… at least I thought so. Apparently my teacher did, too, and she taped my drawing on the wall.
On the evening of Parents’ Open House that year, I waited at home, eager and excited to hear what my mother would say about my schoolwork and art, especially my horse drawing. To my surprise, she was all business when she came home, and wouldn’t look me in the eye. My stomach sank, wondering if the teacher said I was too chatty or I misbehaved.
“When you draw a horse, don’t ever draw that part” she scolded with pursed brows. “That thing between its legs. You don’t need to show that. It’s not nice.”
That was all she said. She offered no positive comments about open house that I recall, but I may have forgotten any praise because I was stung. My beautifully rendered horse had made her angry. I retreated to my room. Apparently she was mortified because I’d drawn, in essence, a naked horse. I had shown its private parts, the shameful parts of a body that nice people don’t talk about, or even name, much less color.
A child’s view
When I had drawn the horse in class, I remember feeling pleased to have included that one particular detail, so pleased, in fact, that I might have inadvertently accentuated it. I might have colored an impossibly huge and darkly outlined horse penis. I might have made it even larger than than the horse’s head. The sexual organ was undoubtedly the most vivid part of the entire drawing.
I really can’t remember much else other than how clever I thought I was, and how crushed I was to learn I had done something “wrong.” Over the years, my mother saved many of my drawings and handmade cards, but she didn’t save the horse. It’s possible she threw it in the incinerator to destroy any evidence that her daughter had an obsession with male genitalia.
If anything, this incident and what was left unsaid only aroused my curiosity.
I stared at the horses in my granddaughter’s coloring book. They were not naked; they were wearing saddles. Their genitals showed because that’s the way horses look. My granddaughter added spots to the larger horse’s rump, and, to my surprise, colored the hooves of the other horse a bright pink. I didn’t ask why.
I said, “Hey! I like it.”
Then we turned the page.
Linda K. Sienkiewicz is the author of the award-winning novel In the Context of Love, about one woman’s need to tell the truth without shame.
Angelica must find the strength to make her life her own after a devastating family secret, heartbreak, betrayal and bad decisions turn her world upside down.
Sarton Women’s Fiction Finalist
Eric Hoffer Book Award Finalist
Readers’ Favorite Finalist
USA Book News Best Book Finalist
New Apple Book Awards Official Selection
“…at once a love story, a cautionary tale, and an inspirational journey.” ~ Bonnie Jo Campbell, author of National Book Award Finalist, American Salvage, and critically acclaimed Once Upon a River,and Mothers, Tell Your Daughters
“With tenderness, but without blinking, Linda K. Sienkiewicz turns her eye on the predator-prey savannah of the young and still somehow hopeful.” ~ Jacquelyn Mitchard, author of the #1 NY Times Bestseller, Deep End of the Ocean
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Really excellent piece, Linda. Speaks to sexual awareness, acceptance and so much more. You should really consider expanding it a little more and submit it as an essay to a journal or magazine.
PS. I don’t know what American Lizard is or how it became my profile.
Diane DeCillis
Thank you so much! I’ve often wanted to write about it, so perhaps I will. I appreciate t he encouragement! (and I think you should expand upon how you don’t know how American Lizared became your nom de plume)
I love this post so much.
Thanks, Johanna! I suspect your mother was much the same?
I hate to admit this “in public” but I remember a similarly themed incident when I was 13 or 14. My mother was talking about her friend’s 9-year-old daughter who had a “psychological problem” — self-gratification. The woman had gone so far as to take her daughter to a psychologist out of motherly concern. When my mother brought it up, she used the word “masturbation” and said that I probably had no idea what she was talking about. I said, of course I know. I didn’t add any details about why I knew or how much I knew or how often I knew. I just said I knew. And I wondered why on earth my mother thought she could possibly shelter me that much.
Luis, your mother may have thought of you as an innocent (hahahaha!) but I commend her for saying that word out loud. I’m sure she wondered about you after that, or maybe she was relieved she didn’t have to explain further! My mother couldn’t even say the word s-e-x.
A word for EVERY mother of a boy: A teenage boy’s mind is a cesspool!