Adjustments: Do dogs grieve?

Life without Clementine:

I’ve been watching our 3-year old corgi Cowboy carefully since his buddy Clementine traveled over the rainbow bridge on February 8th, 2024. After all, she was there since the first day we brought him home. Now his morning routine has changed. His walk routine changed. Feeding routine, bedtime, playtime…. all changed.

I tried not to project my own feelings of loss over Clementine onto Cowboy, but a few subtle behaviors of his showed me that he missed her, or, at the very least, he was keenly aware of her absence.

“The signs of grieving for both dogs and people can be the same,” says Dr. Mary Burch, a certified applied animal behaviorist. “Depression is a typical sign and it is characterized by changes such as sleep problems, a decreased appetite, a decrease in activity, and increased anxiety that, for dogs, manifests itself with behaviors such as panting, pacing, and sometimes the destruction of objects.”

And of course, because dogs genetically form close bonds with their human owners, your grief can affect your dog’s emotional state.

So here’s what’s been going on with Cowboy:

Walkies

Getting the two dogs ready for a walk was a procedure. I had to leash Cowboy first and make him wait by the back door so he wouldn’t annoy Clementine by poking or pawing her while I leashed her. Otherwise, she’d hide. Once we were on our way, Clementine usually took the lead on our leisurely stop-and-smell-the-roses walks together. Whatever she stopped to sniff, Cowboy had to check out, too. He liked to bump against her or chase around her as we walked. He often bristled when unknown dogs approached us in the park, as if to protect her.

For the first few weeks without her, after I put a leash on him, he looked around for her before we left the house. Was she in the corner? Behind the leather chair? Under the kitchen table? He knew something wasn’t right.

Then when we stepped out the back door, he paused, as if to tell me I’d forgotten someone. Once we made it to the sidewalk, he pulled back, not wanting to keep going without her. He often stopped several times during our walks, as if confused.

He wanted her to walk with us. He didn’t understand why she wasn’t.

Playtime

The two dogs interacted the most in the evening when Cowboy tried to entice Clementine to play chase. She would bark at him, and he’d do excited zoomies. He liked to sneak up to boop her in the butt, and then race away so she couldn’t catch him. He enjoyed getting her to bark at him.

For a year before she passed, Clementine took medication every evening at 8 pm, alerted by an alarm on our Alexa device. Cowboy listened for it. He sat and watched as I prepared her meds in a Pill Pocket and waited for me to give it to her, after which he got a treat for being a good boy.

For at least two weeks, every evening at 8 pm, he came over to me and stared at me, like a living clock, even though we had canceled the Alexa alarm. Later in the evening he moped around without her to play with. He often retreated to bed early to look mournfully at us.

In our backyard, the two dogs shared a compulsion to patrol the yard for squirrels, and would often charge out the back door door together in joint effort to get the pesky tree rats. They would bark in unison up toward the top of the huge black walnut tree.

Now, he guards alone.

Time heals

So Clementine has been gone 8 weeks. Most days now Cowboy bounces along for our daily walks. He looks to me more than before for playtime and games, but I’m willing to play. He and Don have created a new find and chase game they both enjoy, too. He loves going into town or to the park where strangers often ask to pet him.

Vets say that if adding a new puppy to your home for a grieving dog isn’t an option, arranging a few play dates with other pooches and finding new activities to do with your pup helps. Most importantly, giving your dog all the love and attention they need to recover from the loss of a close friend benefits both pet and owner.

Once the weather warms and our soggy back yard dries out, we will invite Kona, his bestie from his “vacation resort,” aka kennel, over for a romp. We’ll also take trips out to our daughter’s place where he can run around with Lacy, a mini Aussie, and Bo Dog, a mixed breed.

So I think he’s doing all right. I sure wish he could talk, though. I’d love to hear his stories about Clementine.

You can see Instagram pictures and videos of Cowboy and Clementine together at #CowboyandClementine

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Linda K. Sienkiewicz is a writer, poet, and artist:
Multi-finalist award winning novel In the Context of Love
Picture book Gordy and the Ghost Crab
Latest poetry chapbook: Sleepwalker
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