Myself?
A letter to advice columnist Miss Manners begins: “My husband, myself and another couple went out for dinner last summer…”
I read the rest of the question but kept bouncing back to that opening sentence. It was so wrong. Myself? MYSELF? Miss Manners wisely didn’t correct the writer; she focused on the question at hand. I, however, couldn’t let it go.
Myself is a special kind of pronoun. It’s called a reflexive pronoun (reflexive because it reflects the subject) or emphatic (for emphasis). Knowing when to use it is tricky.
Myself is not a substitute for I or me.
Here are examples of reflexive and emphatic uses of myself:
- I, myself, think that dog is a menace!
- Give me that, I’ll do it myself.
- I will take it upon myself to arrest you.
- I gave myself a pat on the back.
- I ate the whole pie by myself.
Also note that all pronouns have a matching reflexive pronoun:
- me — myself
- you — yourself
- you — yourselves
- her — herself
- it — itself
- he — himself
- one — oneself
- our — ourselves
- they — themselves
The reflexive pronoun is always used as the object of a sentence, never the subject.
My advice on when to use myself?
Don’t, unless you are going it alone and you want everyone to know it, as in, “I am going to use the word myself.” lol.
And remember: Don’t ever, ever, ever use it as a substitute for I or me.
Need a few examples?
These are wrong:
- The problem wasn’t that Georgie and myself were accused of robbing the store.
- Georgie let myself take care of the getaway car.
- Sylvia, Georgie and myself didn’t think we’d get caught.
These are correct:
- The problem wasn’t that Georgie and I were accused of robbing the store.
- Georgie let me take care of the getaway car.
- Sylvia, Georgie and I didn’t think we’d get caught.
Also correct:
- Sylvia doesn’t trust me to do anything myself.
- I can find a good lawyer myself.
- I took the lie detector test myself and failed.
So how should that letter to Miss Manners have read? “My husband, I and another couple went out for dinner last summer…” Or “My husband and I went out with another couple for dinner last supper…”
Read more at How to use I, Me, Myself
Linda K. Sienkiewicz is a writer, poet, and artist.
Learn more about her multi-award winning novel, In the Context of Love.
Learn more about her picture book, Gordy and the Ghost Crab.
Learn more about her poetry chapbook, Security
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