My Lab lived a long life. She was good natured and well behaved, a sweetheart and friend to all, even cats and young children who were terrified because she was a “big dog.” After getting to know this 68 pound chocolate bunny of a dog, those kids were enthusiastic in their love for her. She also worked with me in Pet-a-Pet therapy where I took her to visit hospitals and nursing homes. The last two years of her life, she had diabetes, which we managed well. My daughter adopted an abandoned kitten, and Chelsea grew quite fond of Frankie, not minding that Frankie would bat her ears when she ate, or swing from her wagging tail.

This is the reposted story of Chelsea’s brief credit card account. Canceling it was like chasing your own tail: 

It’s a dog, ma’am:

Washington Mutual Card Services gave my chocolate Lab a credit card after she’d already left to chase squirrels in heaven. The statement delivered in the mail looked legitimate, and the pooch had a good credit score, too, based on the annual percentage rate.

Just for the hell of it, I called WaMu to inform them that they’d given an account to a retriever. I was, after all, a responsible dog owner. 

The polite, but young associate asked me for Chelsea’s social security number.

I told her the dog didn’t have an SS number. She did have a 16 digit WaMu account number, however, so I read the number on the statement to her.

She put me on hold, and then returned to ask for my name and my social security number. There was no way. I asked her to please explain how they gave an account to my pet.

She put me on hold, again, and then inexplicably asked, again, for “Chelsea Sienkiewicz’s social security number.”

I wondered who she’d conferred with, and what she told them. “This is a dog we’re talking about. You know, woof woof.” I said. “And besides that, she’s deceased.”

The polite, but young associate said, “I’m very sorry about your dog. May I have your social security number?”

I am not making this up. I took notes  

I was afraid they’d put the credit card in my name, and the next thing Chelsea would be buying 50 pound bags of dog food to be delivered somewhere over the rainbow bridge. I said, “No. I’m not giving you my number. I just want this account cancelled.” 

The polite, but young associate put me on hold again. When she returned, she said, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. Your name isn’t on the account.”

How’d this even happen?

Chelsea had diabetes and required twice daily injections. I used coupons to get rebates on needles. It’s possible her name ended up on a list that was then sold to companies, with the assumption she was human. That’s the only reason I can come up with!

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Linda K. Sienkiewicz is a writer, poet, and artist.
Learn more about her multi-award winning novel, In the Context of Love.
Learn more about her picture book, Gordy and the Ghost Crab.
Learn more about her poetry chapbook, Security

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