Today’s post comes from my brilliant daughter

The Washington Post asked their readers and staff to review their homes like a hotel during the coronavirus quarantine, “and they did not disappoint.” I shared it with my daughter, and asked her to write a quarantine review for her own house.

Enjoy!

Airbnb this beautiful 1900 Century Farmhouse

A perfect prairie get-away! Escape virus ridden Metro Detroit and head down south to this charming, lovingly renovated 120 year old farmhouse. Please note: it’s chick season and ours are being reared in the kitchen, so if you aren’t comfortable becoming attached to a baby chick that you’ll later eat, please reschedule your stay for a later date.

There’s 10 acres to roam in and a creek to throw sticks and rocks in. Beware: it is high tick season time, so make sure you have a buddy to a tick check. (yes, if they can make it to your butt cheek, they will be there.)

Enjoy one of our three lush bedrooms to spend the night, often a kid or an animal come in as a complementary heating pad. They will also make sure you aren’t dead, by kicking, punching or cutting off circulation in your legs. We offer a community full bath to enjoy a hot shower. Don’t panic, yes, those ducklings will also be showering with you because our resident entertainer thinks it’s hilarious to sneak them in!

Speaking of our entertainer, you’ll never feel bored with him on staff. He will constantly hang on you, dance in front of the TV, ask you five million questions and tell you a million stories, but be warned: entrapment is his specialty if you aren’t paying attention and you may accidentally agree to buy him more toys (penalties are steep for going back on your word).

If you happen to catch our famous egg chef anywhere from 9 am – 11:30 am, you may be able to convince her to add an egg in the pan for you. The price of this delicacy – a look that could kill you and some preteen angst thrown in your direction.

If you catch the owner in her third beer, everything you ask for will be approved. Ice cream for dinner? Sure! Wanna jump in the half filled pool in 60 degree weather? Sounds like a blast. This is the prime time to tell her important information. Especially if you plan on changing the schedule.

Please note:
Optional: clothing, bathing, cleaning up after yourself, decent bedtime hours, manners.
Not optional: wiping little butts, holding babies, meeting the daily school bus if you’re the only one dressed.

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Linda K. Sienkiewicz is the author of the award-winning novel In the Context of  Love, a story about one woman’s need to tell her truth without shame. Discovering who you want to be isn’t easy when you can’t leave the past behind.

2017 New Apple Book Awards Official Selection
2016 Sarton Women’s Fiction Finalist
2016 Eric Hoffer Book Award Finalist
2016 Readers’ Favorite Finalist
2016 USA Book News Best Book Finalist

“…at once a love story, a cautionary tale, and an inspirational journey.” ~ Bonnie Jo Campbell, author of National Book Award Finalist, American Salvage, and critically acclaimed Once Upon a River,and Mothers, Tell Your Daughters

“With tenderness, but without blinking, Linda K. Sienkiewicz turns her eye on the predator-prey savannah of the young and still somehow hopeful.” ~ Jacquelyn Mitchard, author of the #1 NY Times Bestseller, Deep End of the Ocean

Buy now: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | IndieBound