Finally, a novel that tells the truth:
Clementine Crane Prefers Not To by Kristin Bair is more than a running joke about hot flashes, night sweats, brain fog, and the general hormonal circus of perimenopause. It’s a funny, fierce and deeply relatable story of a woman trying to hold together a job, keep up with three needy adolescents and be the caring wife of a snoring, well-meaning, but clueless husband, while her obstetrician offers patronizing gibberish such as “Take up winter sports” and “Stop drinking coffee.”
It’s also a story about advocating for your own health and refusing to minimize your perimenopause symptoms when someone is being dismissive.
Scenes that made me feel seen
So many moments hit home with me—like remembering that first period and realizing, in horror, that this monthly nonsense was now your life. And you still had to go to school, wearing that awful, thick pad between your legs.
Or the husband, who hopes to turn a hot flash into being “hot.” Clementine was not having any of that, let me tell you! I laughed out loud.
Or parenting needy adolescents and teens when they could figure out how to do things themselves, like remember to bring their books to school, or ask someone else for help other than texting Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom… while she’s at work. (What’s wrong with Dad, Dad, Dad…?)
Fortunately, I never had night sweats, but I empathize with those who do. Yet, sleep was so difficult, and if my husband so much as put a hand on my hip, much less try to cuddle in bed, I would burst into flames. Imagine a tiger growling: “Move away from me now.” Not to mention sex became downright bothersome (sorry, honey, it really wasn’t you.) Things that used to be a turn-on became repulsive, and this lasted years. No one ever warns you about that. I remember trying to find more information on this matter at the time and coming up blank. It was incredibly frustrating for the both of us.
I’m grateful things resolved once my hormones settled down. I sure wish I’d had this novel years ago! At least I could have laughed over the weird moments, the stress, the brain fog and chaos.
This is the novel that finally tells all
Seriously, more women need to talk about their hormonal symptoms and what’s going on with their bodies in perimenopause. After all, this craziness can last for ten years.
They also need to advocate for themselves, as the incredibly frustrated and tender-hearted Clementine learns to do.
That’s exactly what I loved about this story: It’s funny, yes, but it also brings hope, validation and empowerment.
Purchase Clementine Crane Prefers Not To at Bookshop.org (and support indie booksellers), Penguin Random House, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Thank you for visiting! Linda K. Sienkiewicz is a wrangler of words and big messy feelings in fiction and poetry.
Her second novel, Love and Other Incurable Ailments, is coming October 27, 2026, from Regal House Publishing: When love letters from a despondent stranger land in her lap, an anxious overthinker becomes convinced she’s the cure, and sets off to save him, and herself, blissfully armed with nothing but magical thinking.
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