Suzanne Manser, PhD, is a therapist and author whose work empowers people in healing from childhood wounds and reclaiming their self-worth. Her debut memoir and companion journal reflect her core belief that everyone is already worthy and lovable exactly as they are. Through both therapy and writing, she helps others move toward self-forgiveness, empowerment, and more fulfilling lives.
Here’s her What, Why, How!
What:
At some point in my career as a therapist, I realized I had a lot to say. I knew so many insights and strategies that had improved not only my patients’ lives, but my life, so I started writing psychology articles and publishing them on my blog. This led to me re-discovering my love of writing, which had been squelched amidst the endless academic papers required in college and grad school.
Then my mom died, and I found I had a lot to say about that. I journaled for months on end, pouring out a torrent of feelings that I thought had been worked out over years of therapy. My mom and I had had a hard relationship, and with all of my psychology wisdom, I had never found a way to stop hating her. The journaling turned into a deep-dive exploration of my mom that led to a profound understanding not only of her, but of why she could never love me like I needed.
The journaling became my self-help memoir, I Hate You (A Love Letter to My Mother): Healing Paper Cuts, Mother Wounds, and Intergenerational Pain. This book is part emotional story of a child navigating a childhood dominated by a narcissistic, alcoholic mother and part psychological explanation of how the subtle wounds our parents give us shape our beliefs about ourselves and the world.
It’s also a guidebook for transformation; in my 20’s, I made a deliberate decision to reclaim myself and create a life based on me, not the pain my mom gave me. It has not been a quick or easy process, but it has made all the difference!
This book offers validation and a pathway to change for those who, like me, are still healing from their childhood. It’s the book I wished I had.
Why:
The “why’s” of my therapy work and my writing work are the same: to help people. More specifically, I want people to know that they are already acceptable and worthy and always have been. I want people to know that they don’t have to change anything about themselves to be acceptable, but if they choose, they can make changes (often to their mindset) to create a juicier, more fulfilling life.
I put literal sweat and tears (I don’t think there was any blood!) into writing my book and getting it out into the world because I absolutely believed it would help people heal from their childhoods and reclaim themselves. And it has! My heart bursts and melts at the same time whenever I hear from someone about how my book has helped them. For a first-time author whose day job is psychologist, I have been knock-me-over-with-a-feather thrilled to know that my book is doing what I had hoped!
How:
On a day-to-day basis, I don’t write. I spend my days being a therapist and most of my free time with my husband and two kids.
However, when I was writing my book, it was a different story. It was an all-consuming process. I would start writing at 6 am on a Saturday or Sunday (or both), and I would write nonstop until anywhere between 4-8 pm. As I wrote, I developed even more understanding and insight about my mom and our relationship. It was an incredibly rewarding experience, even though I was isolated in our basement office, sitting on a couch with my laptop in my lap – I never took the time to create an ergonomically correct writing space. My husband completely parented our kids during that time, which is particularly amazing because this went on for over two years.
The actual process was kind of a mess. When I had nothing left to say after filling 2.5 journals, I decided I had the material for a book. So, I typed my hand-written entries into a Word document, then moved chunks around to create themes, and then chapters, and then I wrote to fill in the gaps and make it into a story. Once I had a full, finished draft, I hated it. I hired an editor, and we took another year or so to re-work it until I loved it.
This is not the way I would recommend approaching writing a book, but it did result in a book (I’m an AUTHOR!) that I love and am so proud to share!
Bio:
Suzanne Manser, PhD is a Harvard-trained psychologist and author. She has owned a private practice for over 20 years, helping thousands of patients learn how to accept themselves and transform their lives. Her clinical specialties include eating disorders and anxiety.
In addition to her book I Hate You (A Love Letter to My Mother): Healing Paper Cuts, Mother Wounds, and Intergenerational Pain) and guided journal I Hate You (A Love Letter to My Mother): A Journal for Healing Your Mother Wound and Transforming Your Life, Dr. Manser writes articles on living with acceptance and meaning.
Suzanne lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband, two kids, two cats, and a dog. She loves pelicans, prefers beaches to mountains, and values authenticity and curiosity.
Links:
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Linda K. Sienkiewicz is a wrangler of words and big messy feelings in fiction and poetry.
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Love and Other Incurable Ailments, 10/27/2026 from Regal House Publishing
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