Oh, how we suffer in our minds
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” ~ Seneca
Is there anything truer when it comes to worrying about the future, or beating ourselves up over past events? It absolutely reflects our tendency to create exaggerated scenarios of pain, failure, or loss.
Imagination is one of our greatest strengths. It creates works of art and literature, plays and movies. It’s how we develop empathy for others when we imagine ourselves in their position. But it can also generate fear, anxiety, and paralysis. We rehearse worst-case scenarios and dwell on every little thing that could go wrong. Our minds can turn a small challenge into a looming disaster simply by spiraling into “what ifs.”
Imagining things that haven’t even happened can even make us physically ill. The brain struggles to distinguish between imagined and real danger, so we react physiologically to our thoughts as if they’re true.
Anticipatory Anxiety vs. Actual Experience
In many cases, the dread leading up to an event is far worse than the event itself. Think of the hours lost worrying before a difficult conversation, medical appointment, or public speech, only to find it wasn’t nearly as bad as imagined.
This anxiety costs us peace, energy, sleep, and opportunities for growth. By avoiding discomfort that might never materialize, we limit ourselves and make choices rooted in fear rather than reality.
Think of it: we carry burdens that don’t yet belong to us.
Overthinking and worrying is what troubles the character, Serenity, in my forthcoming novel Love and Other Incurable Ailments. She’s a lot like me. There are times I struggle just to pick up the phone to make an appointment: I hate being put on hold, hate leaving voicemails or having to explain myself. And the dread I feel over any kind of confrontation twists me into knots.
Reality is an Anchor
Reality, though unpredictable, is usually turns out much better than our fears.
Pain in the moment tends to be more manageable because we are actually there, and we can react. We can cope. We can endure, while imagined pain is sprawling, unchecked, and often without resolution. It stretches time and magnifies distress.
Recognizing this tendency isn’t about denying difficulty—it’s about reclaiming clarity. Mindfulness and other practices help us separate what’s real from what’s merely a shadow in our mind. They train us to stay grounded, to question our thoughts, and to engage with life as it is, not as we fear it might be.
Thank you for visiting.
Linda K. Sienkiewicz is a wrangler of words and big messy feelings in fiction and poetry.
In the Context of Love | Gordy and the Ghost Crab | Sleepwalker
Love and Other Incurable Ailments, coming 10/27/2026 from Regal House Publishing
Connect with Linda on social media: LinkTree