You want me to do WHAT?
A while ago I did some web writing in exchange for other services for an acquaintance after they begged me to help them. I figured how hard could it be? As it turned out, I spent hours trying to translate a disjointed spoken message into readable text while also doing research on the products so that what I wrote made sense. The exchange of goods eventually worked, but I learned an important lesson about doing favors: it’s better to say no. Often a “little something” turns out to be a big deal that sucks up your time and energy.
A professional writer asked advice columnist Carolyn Hax what to say when people ask you to write something for free:
Dear Carolyn: I am a writer by profession — meaning I get paid to do what I do. I am constantly asked to edit someone’s community newsletter, write something about someone’s kid who plays lacrosse to send to college coaches, or write someone’s family Christmas letter. (I hate those things, but anyway.) When I quote my hourly rate, I get the hurt look and, “Oh, I thought you’d just do it for me as a friend,” or — in the case of a newsletter — “Oh, I just thought it would be fun for you; it is a good cause and probably would not take much time.”
I keep quoting the hourly rate but it is the sad and hurt reactions that bother me. How to draw the line so that people do not see it as a rejection? I have even tried a slightly discounted friends-and-family-rate but the problem persists.
— Writer
Insert *Sigh*
I can relate. The “sad and hurt reactions” bothered Hax, but not for the same reason as the writer. And Hax had no problem letting rejection sting these friends :
These people have just been reminded they are asking you to work for fee, and they think “no” is the wrong answer?
Come on, people. Go ask for free haircuts, housecleaning and brain surgery, and get back to me. Or don’t. As a society, we’re not exactly at peak manners right now. Your answer is fine; you are reasonably treating them as polite people looking to hire you for skilled work, and you’re responding accordingly.
OF course these same people would not ask a hairstylist, housecleaner or surgeon for free services. So why are they asking a writer for freebies? Doesn’t our work have the same value? Hax continues:
But if these exchanges gnaw at you, then, sure, shift your answer a bit: “Thanks for asking. Are you offering a job or asking a favor?” So when they say, “Favor” — blowing through the sawhorse of a hint you just dragged across that road — you can say, kindly, “I’m sorry — if I agreed to those, then that’s all I’d ever do.”
Exactly. And writing for someone else isn’t “fun” either. It’s work and it can be super stressful. We shouldn’t be expected do it for free or cheap.
Thank you for visiting.
Linda K. Sienkiewicz is a writer, poet, and artist:
Multi-finalist award winning novel In the Context of Love
Picture book Gordy and the Ghost Crab
Latest poetry chapbook: Sleepwalker
Connect with Linda: LinkTree