Thirty days till my book release date. After years of writing and editing, just one more month until September 8th will be here. I’m super excited, but I didn’t expect to feel this anxiety that makes my stomach flutter and my brain spin.

I guess it’s not hard to understand. For a writer, a novel is more than words on paper. In the Context of Love represents a writing dream I’ve nurtured for years. Obsessively. It followed me around all day. At night, it lay next to me in bed, breathing and grumbling long past lights out. It contains my heart and soul. It’s personal, not because it has anything to do with my life (it’s fiction, after all) — it’s my livelihood. Publication means I am giving the world the opportunity to take it home… and judge it. Will readers cry? Will they rejoice? Will they be angry with the characters for the things they do and say? They have sex! They curse! They make a mess of their lives! Will readers be angry with me? Will they judge me by my characters’ behavior?

I try to keep in mind that readers will either love or hate the book, and it’s likely they’ll love or hate me, as well. Or they’ll simply say “meh.” It feels incredibly personal, yet I’m not supposed to take it personally. Easier said than done.

I don’t mean to whine. I’m busy planning a launch party, writing postcards, getting ready for a blog tour, working on promotion, and trying to arrange readings, but this also adds to the stress. I contacted my hometown library, hoping to book an appearance. I got an email that reads like a form letter: The library receives numerous requests from local authors to speak here and we cannot possibly accommodate all the requests. Thank you again for contacting the library. Yikes. I have to remember I’m one of many. Somewhere between 600,000 and 1,000,000 books are published every year in the US.

At the same time, having your book published is a little like having a baby: you can’t help but feel you’re the first woman in the world to give birth, and your baby is the most precious baby ever. 

What do I expect will happen on September 8th? Probably very little. I’ll be at home in my drawstring pants and t-shirt. I’ll tweet. I’ll post on Facebook. I’ll take Clementine on a walk. An extra long walk. One that relieves stress. Maybe I’ll ask the husband to pick up champagne and cupcakes. Maybe we’ll get carry out.

Then I’ll go back to writing.

---

---

In the Context of Love: a new contemporary fiction about love, lust, and family secrets.

Angelica Schirrick had always suspected there was something deeply disturbing about her family, but the truth was more than she bargained for.