Weird habit or normal?
I confess: I replay or create conversations aloud. I expound. I pontificate. I argue. I talk in the bathroom. I talk when folding laundry. I talk when walking the dogs. I practice for an upcoming doctor’s appointment, a phone call, an argument. I have talked aloud ever since I can remember.
Over the years, I’ve managed to rein it in, but more times than I care to admit I’ll be talking away in the house, thinking I’m alone, and then turn the corner to see my husband or kids. It’s so embarrassing. I laugh. Maybe they laugh. More often they give me a weird look.
Clearly I’m not going to stop. Why do I do this? Am I alone?
Why talk out loud?
With no siblings my age (my brother is 9 years older), I learned to entertain myself when my neighborhood friends weren’t around. I played in the woods behind our house, inventing stories and making friends with the spiders or salamanders I found under rocks. I clearly remember talking with them. Loudly. It was high theater. My mother only had to listen to know where I was.
I learned from Very Well Health that the habit of talking to yourself often begins in childhood. It can become second nature pretty easily.
Self talk
When it comes to self-talk in general, Medical News Today says self-talk “is a verbal expression of an internal position or belief, meaning it expresses inner feelings, non-verbal thoughts, and intuitions about a situation through speech. The person only intends to direct their speech at themselves [although I question this, especially if the person is practicing for a future conversation with someone]. The habit of self-talk may continue into adulthood.”
Additionally, “Self-talk may improve control over a task, concentration, and performance. It may also enhance problem-solving skills.”
Self-talk can help reduce stress, increase focus and boost self-esteem. The ideal person for you to talk with while working through life’s many challenges just might be yourself. “In today’s hectic world, we often don’t take the time to literally just engage with ourselves,” says health psychologist Grace Tworek, PsyD. of self-talk.
A 25%-er
Despite the stigma associated with talking aloud to yourself, it’s a natural part of human development and behavior. According to a 2018 study, Making Sense of Self Talk, children generally begin self-talk by the age of 2 or 3.
Apparently it’s more common for people to talk to themselves than to not. According to one study, 96% of adults say they have an internal dialogue.
While self-talk out loud is less common, 25% of adults in the study do it. Obviously I’m in that group.
Don’t talk back
I’d challenge anyone who says they never talk to themselves. Have you ever muttered aloud when you walked into a room and forgot what you were looking for? Complained while cleaning up someone else’s mess? Cussed when you stubbed your toe?
Of course, it’s not that unusual to see someone yakking away while sitting in their car, walking, or shopping if they use earbuds paired to a cell phone. In T.J. Maxx the other day, I heard one side of woman’s conversation with her friend about her brother-in-law being in prison (which apparently he deserved, according to the speaker). Unconcerned that total strangers were listening, she broadcast her business while flipping through the racks of clothes.
Maybe I just need earbuds so I can pretend I’m talking to someone else.
Linda K. Sienkiewicz writes fiction, poetry and essays.
Her second novel, Love and Other Incurable Ailments, is coming October 27, 2026 from Regal House Publishing: When love letters from a far-away stranger fall into the hands of an anxious overthinker, she convinces herself she can save him—but her misguided scheme goes horribly wrong, and the pain is so great she fears she must flee the life and friends she’s grown to love.
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