What, Why, How: Cindy Frenkel

What:

The Plague of the Tender-Hearted is a small book of poems, which is part of a larger collection. It mostly centers around the biggest events of my life:  my youngest brother’s suicide–he was my closest sibling, a family trapped in “the external locust of control,” a mother’s demise and death, a sudden divorce, and the best catalyst for change: mothering. It’s also a book about a woman telling her truth in her later middle years, finding unlikely love and realizing the utter joy of many intangibles–the depth of friendships, the satisfaction of emerging into a fuller, more compassionate person and the joys of the natural world. Ultimately, I’d like to think it’s about diminishing the stigma of addiction and mental illness, coupled with offering hope, all while celebrating ordinary delights.

Why:

As the mother of a daughter, I wanted her to see that life was more expansive than the script with which I was raised, and I wanted her to have more agency over her life, while living with less fear than I. She’s my inspiration. I also realized that many of my perceptions growing up were on the mark, even though I was told otherwise. We live in a culture that praises material abundance over connection–and, when I was a child, there was a lot of emphasis on what other people thought and how things appeared. Yet, I almost always experienced a lack of emotional intimacy. I needed that connection much more than I needed the right handbag.

Additionally, I grew up as the youngest and only girl; there were four of us, and my father wanted me to keep quiet, while my mother’s idea of my being a success was to work part-time and have dinner on the table, always wearing lipstick, I might add. So, there’s loving rebellion in here, too! I was the “emotional one” and the men weren’t supposed to cry. That’s a terrible disservice to everyone. There’s the huge, American myth that the perfect external objects (car, house, clothes–whatever) will create inner calm and happiness. That is the lie although I’m still susceptible to it. What we own doesn’t define us nor does what is in our bank account. This is not to discount beautiful things or, more importantly, financial security. However, often we covet extraneous objects that offer temporary relief from feelings of separateness, resentment, and depression. The real antidote to that is connecting, laughing together, being vulnerable, living a life of purpose, and sharing our feelings.  We are a society whose brokenness is also key to our reinventing ourselves.

My greatest hope is that this will shed light and compassion on mental illness while helping prevent suicide–and I know that’s wildly ambitious! I’ll be grateful if it hits that chord with even one reader, a reader who might gain understanding of the devastation of a single act and how its ripple effect can irrevocably devastate many lives. In putting this out there, I am also claiming my voice–after years of giving myself away to please others, something to which many women can relate. It feels like I’m finally emerging, or, to quote George Eliot, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

How:

At 61, I am telling my truth. The “how” and “why” of it are intertwined. Years ago, after my brother Tom’s death, a family member didn’t want me to mention suicide, or heroin–there was such stigma attached. As a writer, I needed to write to process my feelings, so I was always writing, even though I didn’t send things out, and poetry seemed to be the most private outlet. Who reads poetry, after all? Now, over 20 years later, poetry is experiencing a great resurgence, although when some of these poems originally were published, the audience was slim. In that smaller readership, I felt a safety. It was also a wonderful challenge to experiment with traditional form, which was part of my education, and to write readily accessible poems. That was important to me. It always irks me when I hear people say “I don’t understand poetry.” They think something is wrong with them, that they’re limited, and I suspect that some poetry may be too esoteric. By the time this manuscript was accepted, I’d written so many versions, I didn’t know which version they wanted since I just kept writing and rewriting, so I was literally stunned at the “yes.” That’s how accustomed to rejection I’d become. I am excited that Finishing Line Press created the perfect cover, using a portrait my father painted of me as a child and listening to what I wanted. I also feel tremendously vulnerable as the collection goes to press. This is about some heady topics…my losses, my life. I’m also thrilled that M.L. Liebler asked me to read virtually from this collection soon, with my beloved mentor, Molly Peacock, and fellow poets Chris Rhein and Dawn McDuffie.

Bio:

Cindy Frenkel’s poetry has appeared in many journals and is forthcoming in The MacGuffin.Her essay “15 Lessons from 9 Years of Teaching” appeared in Writers in Education. “My Brother & Kate Spade” was in The Jewish News. Her remembrance “Galway Kinnell and the Blue Button-Down” was in The Southampton Review. She served as a Writer-in-Residence with InsideOut Literary Arts Project (iO), which brings working poets into Detroit public schools; her essay about that time, “Sharing Voices, Acting Crazy,” is in the anthology To Light a Fire. Her prose has been in publications ranging from Vanity Fair to The New York Observer, where she was a columnist. She co-authored 100 Essential Books for Jewish Readers with Rabbi Daniel B. Syme and was the writer/editor of the Detroit Institute of Arts (DIA) magazine. She teaches literature and creative writing for video gamers at Lawrence Technological University. She has an M.F.A. from Columbia University and was a 2018 Hambidge fellow. She is involved with community organizations, including A Single Soul, dedicated to preventing suicide. For more information, or to order her book, please visit www.cindyfrenkel.com.

Links:

Website
The Plague of the Tenderhearted

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Linda K. Sienkiewicz is the author of the award-winning novel In the Context of  Love, a story about one woman’s need to tell her truth without shame. Discovering who you want to be isn’t easy when you can’t leave the past behind.

2017 New Apple Book Awards Official Selection
2016 Sarton Women’s Fiction Finalist
2016 Eric Hoffer Book Award Finalist
2016 Readers’ Favorite Finalist
2016 USA Book News Best Book Finalist

“…at once a love story, a cautionary tale, and an inspirational journey.” ~ Bonnie Jo Campbell, author of National Book Award Finalist, American Salvage, and critically acclaimed Once Upon a River,and Mothers, Tell Your Daughters

“With tenderness, but without blinking, Linda K. Sienkiewicz turns her eye on the predator-prey savannah of the young and still somehow hopeful.” ~ Jacquelyn Mitchard, author of the #1 NY Times Bestseller, Deep End of the Ocean

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