It didn’t seem that long ago that the grave markers of this family of four in Mount Avon Cemetery were bestowed with American flags, bouquets of flowers, miniature plastic soccer balls, dolls and butterflies, and the grass around them had been trimmed and tidy. The colorful and playful decorations had drawn me to look closer. I remember being startled to read that Jacob Vaness Young was born the same month and year as I was, and that the entire family had died on the same day, August 22, 1999.
This spring it dawned on me that I hadn’t seen any decorations around the gravesite in recent years. When I walked closer, I saw the markers were overgrown with grass. That saddened me.
Who was Jacob Vaness Young?
Jacob was a Vietnam vet, like my husband. His wife, Leita, was eight years younger. Their daughter, Nicole Louise, was born in 1987, and Jacob Jr., in 1989. The director of Podetz Funeral Home told me they had been killed in a car accident. That’s all I know of them.
Jacob was 45, Leita was 37, Nicole, 12 and Jacob Jr., 10.
The tragic accident that took their lives happened three days after Nicole’s birthday. Maybe the family had been coming home from a trip to Cedar Point. In the back seat of the car, Jacob might have been playing a Game Boy. Maybe Nicole had a CD player and was listening to Britney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” Neither child had any idea what was about to hit them. I can only hope their death was swift and painless.
I often wondered if the children’s grandparents were the ones who had been leaving flowers and toys at their graves. I assume now they’re no longer able to tend the graves; maybe they’ve moved or passed away themselves. As someone who’s lost a child, I imagine their grief must have been consuming.
A new caretaker
This spring, with a shovel and brush in hand, I walked to Mount Avon to clean up the family’s markers, thinking of the many others who have left this world suddenly, unexpectedly, and much too soon. How sad it would be if they were forgotten.
Update August 22, 2016:
Since writing this post, I’ve been contacted by several members of Young’s family and they’ve shared some lovely memories with me. They are scattered throughout the US, as often happens with families, and appreciative that I have been tending to their loved one’s graves. Sometimes the internet is miraculous in the way it helps strangers connect. I’m pleased that the memory of “Van” and Leita Young and their two children are living in the hearts of their loved ones.
Hi. My name is Kristine Grey and I live in Denver, Colorado. This is actually my cousin and his family, though I never met them and have only uncovered the Young side of my family through genealogy research. (Jacob Sr., buried in Avon cemetery, is the son of my grandfather’s brother) Thank you for posting this as I often wondered how they passed away. I found their graves on Ancestry and have been haunted by the fact they all passed away on the same day.
I live in Denver now, but I used to live on 3rd and Alice Street in Rochester (from 1996-2004). It’s strange now to think that such a significant number of my family members were buried just down the road and I had no idea.
Thank you for tidying their graves.It is so kind of you. As I get in touch with more members of the Young family, I will see if someone can take over. I know many of them are scattered about the country.
To answer your question, you are right, their grandfather (Jack Young) passed away in 2001. He and his wife were likely the ones tending the grave.
I have been searching for Jack Young my step fathers brother could you tell me if his wife’s name was either Jan or Jo ?
For some reason the name Jacob Vaness Young was mentioned and that is how I came upon this
Shelle, Hi. I am not sure if I can help, but I have some basics about the family tree I can share if it helps. Can you email me at kristine14@mac.com and I will share my phone number with you offline. When you say Jack is your step-father’s brother, are you referring to Jimmy Young? He is my bio grandfather. If you are on Ancestry, I can connect you to the tree. Talk to you soon. Kristine
Hello Kristine,
It amazes me how small the world is. I’m glad my post helped answer your question about the tragic deaths of the Young family, and glad you wrote me. I cannot imagine how Jack Young and his wife must have grieved. I can’t really explain why I feel compelled to take care of their gravesites. I plan to place flowers, a flag and a spinner at their graves later this spring.
Take care.
Linda